CEO Dennis Molendijk

CEO Mediation
CEO Coaching
CEO Creative Interventions
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CEO Impressions
 

CEO Coaching

A certain amount of suspicion is certainly a healthy attitude when it comes to consultants. After all, it is the easiest thing in the world to know better when you’ve never had to roll up your sleeves and do the hard work yourself. And then there’s the indecipherable consultant’s jargon and the inevitable clichés: “…all you have to do is see it…”, “…the lines of communication must be more clearly defined and put on paper…”

Advice is generally not hugely helpful, except in the form of simple transfer of knowledge. When providing inspiration and coaching at a high level, I therefore prefer to refer to this process as ‘meetings’. I invite someone to reflect on what is going on from another perspective. Interest in the other person and the capacity to ‘look beneath the surface’ are key requirements for me in this. A coaching process should more than anything else be an inspirational exchange.

Organising such meetings has been a regular feature of my work for many years. I would often look up someone who inspired me, and ask whether I could “borrow his or her brains and intuition for a little while?” Being able to bounce your own ideas and doubts off of someone you respect, but who is not involved in the issue in question, sharpens up your own intuition. As well as giving you a chance to recognise your blind spots. Seeking out such meetings is therefore a sign of intelligence and realism, and by no means an admission of weakness.

What’s your story?

People are their stories. The most important belief underlying CEO’s way or working is that people not only have stories, but to a major extent are their stories. We constantly tell ourselves stories of success and failure: from the perspective of a winner or of a victim; stories that may only stand for just an hour, or for a day, or maybe for a whole lifetime. We have stories about our work, our family and relationships, our health; about what we want and what we can achieve. These stories determine to a large extent how others see us and yet – strangely enough – we often hardly even realise that we are telling these stories; we have insufficient insight into what these stories really mean, and the fact that we are capable of editing them, and thereby coming closer to achieving our goals.

The fact that we tell ourselves stories gives structure and direction to our lives, which are full of challenges and opportunities. We are mentally trained to sort events by cause-effect, beginning-middle-end. This helps us give meaning and priority to our goals and activities. Stories make sense of the chaos; they organise the many diverse experiences we have into a coherent structure that gives meaning; and in so doing, these stories shape our reality. Unfortunately, far too many of the stories we tell ourselves are dysfunctional, or even lies. We are highly skilled in the art of self-deception. And this applies especially to successful, talented, hyper-intelligent CEOs!

Get your story right

The most important story you will ever tell about yourself is the story you tell to yourself!

How can you find new stories, based on reality, that inspire you to achieve what you want to achieve in your work and in your life? Do you really dare look for the cracks in your current story, which are hindering your productivity, satisfaction, commitment, recognition and sense of meaning?

Why isn’t it working? We almost always blame external factors. We are the authors of our own stories, and yet we demote ourselves to supporting roles: parent, spouse; hours in a day, overtime, short nights, always being available, long journey times, colleague who won’t listen… the corporate culture… it is almost always someone else’s fault.

The story of Oedipus

I come from a theatre background, and for me the Greek tragedy of Oedipus (429 BC) is the metaphor for the human trait of placing responsibility outside of ourselves. This is his story:
Plague is sweeping through the city. Oedipus consults the Oracle: to save the city of Thebes, the murderer of the last king must be brought to justice. Like a detective, Oedipus goes to work, seeking the truth, tracking down the evil which he never for a moment considers could be inside himself. To his dismay, however, every step draws him closer to the realisation that he himself is the guilty party. It seems incredible, yet it is true: he himself is the cause of all the suffering. His desire for the truth, for knowledge, brings about his own downfall.
To me, the tragedy of Oedipus represents our desire to find answers to (the cause of) a crisis. And if these answers – which as a matter of course we look for outside of ourselves – increasingly point back towards us, then, like Oedipus, we will pass through a process of confusion, disbelief, agitation and finally dismay.

The essence of CEO Coaching is that, in the final analysis, you are the only one who can take responsibility for the direction your story takes. 
 

Like to know more?

If you would like to know how I can help you, please do not hesitate to contact me. It could result in an interesting meeting.

Dennis@ceo-online.nl

Like Oedipus: a fat lady in search of het dog
 

Motto CEO

A fact is a fact but perception is reality

Reality is an overrated concept. "Give me the facts!", we often hear. It is not the facts that are crucial, however; it is our interpretation of these facts that determines our reality. Really!

Take the photo below, for example. It is a fact that blocks A and B are the same colour. However often I look at it myself, I still think, "it can’t be true!"

Optische illusie: de vakken A & B zijn van dezelfde kleur

CEO online

The menu on the left-hand side of the website gives specific information on Dennis Molendijk and the various activities of CEO.

In the box below, you will find a more associative elaboration of the CEO’s motto.

A fact is a fact.....

Not convinced that the two squares really are the same colour? Or very convinced... that this is not the case?

Did that go too quickly?

Just to remove any lingering doubts – click on this link for a slower film: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFTKB6tFx-Y 

 

We live in stories

Nothing is true. All actions and all communication is distorted. This applies to large-scale conflicts, but also to the smallest action you undertake every morning in the bathroom.

Take, for example, this great experiment by Derren Brown, on how to influence the creative process.

A fact is a fact but perception is reality

 

We live in stories. This is reality. Who we are and how we function are determined not so much by the events that shape us, but by the interpretations we give to these events and the stories we tell about them; to others and to ourselves. This perception of reality determines who we are and how we do business, enter into friendships, quarrel, et cetera, et cetera.

 

Everyone is a master storyteller
Of course, only a few people can really tell a story really well; nevertheless, the narrative structure is in the genes of every single human being on earth. This means: we all have the ability to think in cause and effect, to filter information and then select from it based on relevance and usefulness; the art of thinking and acting in terms of structures, plot and theme. Stories are not only the reflection of reality – stories create reality.

This is the motto of CEO

Optische illusie: hangen of klimmen?

The other perspective

The factor that links together all the activities of the Creative Executive Office is a fascination for the story as the driving force behind our behaviour.

In both mediations and conflict management, but also in training, coaching and the creative interventions, the other perspective is central: 'can we look at this situation from another, new and unexpected angle?'


Take conflict management, for example. You could describe every conflict as the struggle between two opposing interpretations of the same events. In narrative mediation, the mediator and the parties together go in search of another perspective: 'are the parties capable, regardless of their own convictions, of working on an alternative story that is constructive and even inspirational?'

Een ander perspectief

Do you have a different point of view?

A fact is a fact but perception is reality.

True, or nonsense? Do you have anything to add, or do you see things differently? Then let me know!

Responses / stories / films / photos can be included both in this 'blog' and under CEO impressions.
Send a mail to: Dennis@ceo-online.nl

 
Optische illusie: is de grijze balk egaal van kleur....of toch niet?